Sometimes it is so obvious that all I have is me. I wish I had others. People to tie me down, to ground me. People who made me care - or people I could make myself care about. I try. I do make myself care, and then they hurt me.

I did not want much. Today I realised I was going to be all alone for Easter. The entire Easter weekend. I thought it would be nice to have something with my flatmates, some kind of Easter meal where we were happy and celebrated life. It cannot happen though, can it? People must ruin things. People must ruin things, they must smash all my hopes on the floor. They have to argue and swear, storm out. Then everything is okay? No, not for me. My insides are still shaking from the anger. Not just mine, but other peoples as well.

They sit there enjoying their meal while I lie here crying and wondering what is wrong with me.